Dit briljante verhaal over kolven en een verschrikkelijke collega wil je even lezen

Als je ooit hebt moeten kolven op je werk, dan weet je dat dit niet altijd eenvoudig is. Sommige werkgevers hebben blijkbaar de memo nog niet ontvangen dat je een geschikte kolfruimte MOET hebben, niet alleen omdat dit vanuit de overheid verplicht is, maar ook omdat je anders gewoon ronduit een stel eikels bent. 

Met zo’n stel eikels had schrijfster Iljeoma Oluo’s ook een keer te maken, tijdens een van haar vorige banen. Op Twitter deelde ze haar verhaal over kolven op werk. En hierbij gaat het niet alleen om het gebrek aan een normale kolfruimte, maar ook, en dit is misschien ook herkenbaar voor mensen die op hun werk hebben moeten kolven, collega’s die blijkbaar zo ongemakkelijk worden van borstvoeding, dat ze zich onwijs lomp gaan gedragen.

Ben je er klaar voor? Komt-ie!

But I somehow got a job there & I needed it because I was 6 months pregnant.

But socially, let’s just say that this wasn’t a place where I fit in.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

I came back to work after I had my son & pretty much stuck to myself, so lunch wasn’t a social thing to me.

Especially since I was a breastfeeding mom.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

This place was so NOT breastfeeding parent friendly that after complaining about how it was not acceptable for them to expect me to pump milk in the bathroom stall, they just put a curtain over the closet where they kept the bathroom cleaning supplies and were like “HERE”

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

So every lunch I would spend the 30 minutes on a stool, facing the corner, in a closet with nothing but a curtain to separate me from everyone walking by.

Every single day someone would open the curtain wondering what the noise was & then they’d yell “JESUS” like I pranked them

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

So at the end of every lunch I’d awkwardly take my pump and bottles and storage bags to the breakroom to put the milk in storage and clean everything as best as I could (bathroom storage closet is not exactly a hygienic place to pump milk)

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

& every day ppl would like, awkwardly complain that I would be pouring out breast milk and cleaning my equipment in the breakroom. It was ruining their lunch.

As if my closet-pumping every day was the lunch of my dreams.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

And this dude Rich would complain every day about how disturbing it was. “Bodily fluids..” blah blah blah.

He was this gross conservative woman-hating asshole with a severe buzz cut.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

But then one day I came out of my pumping closet & went to grab the bowl that I use for transferring my milk and cleaning my equipment was missing from my cubicle. Like, the cleaning supplies were dumped out on my desk & bowl was gone.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

So I’m like, shit. I can’t get this milk in the fridge & my equipment sanitized without this bowl. And I search up and down the aisles of cubicles.

And Rich is fucking eating popcorn out of it.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

I was like, “Rich, that’s my bowl.”

He’s like, “Well, I didn’t know it was YOUR bowl specifically.” All smarmy like I’m being unreasonable.

I’m like, “Dude, you literally took it off my desk.”

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

He says, “I use it all the time. It’s no big deal. You never even noticed.”

I was like, “STOP EATING OUT OF MY BREASTMILK BOWL DUDE.”

And he immediately started choking on his popcorn.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

He was like, “A BREASTMILK BOWL ISN’T A THING WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.”

I was like, “Dude, you see me use this bowl every single fucking day. You bitch & moan while I use this bowl to transfer my breastmilk & clean my equipment.”

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

“AND YOU LITERALLY DUMPED MY BOTTLES AND CLEANING BRUSHES OUT OF THE BOWL IN ORDER TO USE IT.”

Dude looked like he was going to die right there.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

So then he’s hell flustered and looks around at his teammates & is like, “Well, did you all know it was a breastmilk bowl?”

And I shit you not, everybody around him said “YUP” with shiteating grins on their faces.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

So then he just handed me my bowl and stormed out and was gone for like an hour. Everybody started laughing their asses off the moment he left.

And he never touched my shit again.

The end.

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) 30 maart 2018

Bron: Twitter

LEES OOK: Kolven op de plee? Moeders, doe er niet aan mee!