Té grappig! Komiek beschrijft zijn leven met vier (!) dochters
James Breakwell is schrijver en vader van vier (!) dochters onder de 7. Op zijn Twitter account deelt hij de grappigste gesprekken die hij met zijn dochters voert.
1. Dat zal ze leren
7-year-old: All the boys said they were faster than girls in gym class.
Me: What did you say?
7: Nothing. I just beat them.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 22 september 2017
2. Meisjes…
I played Dungeons and Dragons with my daughters.
They were supposed to fight the wolves surrounding a town.
Instead, they fed the wolves and turned them into their friendly wolf army.
Girls, man. They’ll take over the world.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 7 januari 2018
3. Geen idee wat die andere kinderen aan het doen waren?
Me: What did you do at school today?
5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
Me: Your class learned about dragons?
5: I learned about dragons. I don’t know what everybody else was doing.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 19 april 2018
4. Goed punt
5-year-old: Why can’t dogs go to school?
Me: Dogs are animals.
5: They let in boys.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 18 april 2018
5. Daar heeft toch niemand tijd voor
6-year-old: *fast forwards all the way through a movie*
Me: You can’t just skip to the happy ending.
6: I don’t have time for problems.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 14 januari 2017
6. Een subtiele hint
Me: What are you doing?
7-year-old: Counting the presents under the tree.
Me: There aren’t any presents under the tree.
7: I know.
Passive aggressive level 9000.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 28 november 2017
7. Waar doe je het allemaal voor?
I’m glad we own 10,000 stuffed animals so my toddler can fall asleep cuddling with a jar of peanuts. pic.twitter.com/mIJKNg2DEp
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 21 mei 2017
8. Leuk? Op school?
Me: Did you have a good day at school?
6-year-old: That’s not how school works.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 8 mei 2017
9. En…. bedankt
5-year-old: I’m not scared of monsters when I’m with you.
Me: Well, thanks.
5: They’ll eat you first because you’re fatter.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 28 juli 2017
10. Manipulatie level 100
4-year-old: Can I have candy?
Me: What did Mom say?
4: No.
Me: So why would I let you?
4: She’s not the boss of you.
It’s a trap.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 25 januari 2017
11. O ja, dat kan natuurlijk ook
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
5-year-old: A cat doctor.
Me: A veterinarian?
5: A doctor who is a cat.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 12 juli 2017
12. Te veel druk
[waitress brings out the food]
5-year-old: I don’t like pancakes.
Me: Then why did you order pancakes?
5: I panicked.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 21 mei 2017
13. Een veel betere naam
My 5-year-old called Parmesan cheese “spaghetti sprinkles” and now that’s officially a food group in my house.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 23 september 2017
14. Laat Vladimir het niet lezen
My 1-year-old can’t say pumpkin, so she calls her pumpkin her “Putin.”
Anyway, Putin just got eaten by squirrels.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 2 november 2017
15. In een woord: verdorven
5-year-old: What’s Game of Thrones?
Me: A show you can’t watch. It uses bad words.
5: *whispering* Like “poop?”
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 28 augustus 2017
bron: Twitter
LEES OOK: Super-herkenbare gesprekken met peuters in cartoons!
