15 ontegenzeggelijke waarheden over het ouderschap
Maar weinig ouders kunnen oprecht zeggen dat ze dat hele opvoed-ding onder de knie hebben, maar deze ouders komen toch wel in de buurt (soort van, een beetje).
1. Een goede vraag
My son was crying and asked, “why doesn’t the dog have to wear pants?” And it’s like, I don’t even know. So now I’m putting pants on a dog.
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) 30 september 2016
2. BEMOEI JE ER NIET MEE
Parents: “If only there were a manual for this.”
Also parents: “How dare you tell me how to raise my kids, you piece of shit.”
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) 1 januari 2017
3. HAHAHAHA nope…
wife: Let’s fool around after the kids go to bed
narrator: But they never did fool around— Josh (@iwearaonesie) 2 januari 2017
4. Hij moet weten dat hij niet bijzonder is
I’m coaching my son’s soccer team because it’s important that he knows I’ll swear at other kids, too.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) 13 april 2015
5. WAT BEN JE DAN NU AAN HET DOEN?
“I want a snack.” – my kids, while they’re eating
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) 25 april 2016
6. Het is ook nooit goed
my 10yr old is doing laundry & I’m truly proud of her but also on the verge of a panic attack because she’s folding my shirts the wrong way
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) 2 januari 2017
7. En…. minst populair
“I just think it’s weird that you have so much white hair. That’s kind of a grandma thing.”
-7yo, and current least favorite child
— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) 29 juni 2016
8. O ja Julia, die is… O SHIT!?
Parenting:
1st kid: Document their every move
2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) 10 juni 2016
9. Sommige dingen kan je beter voor jezelf houden
Someone drew doughnuts on the bottom of the grocery list
My wife thought it was cute so she bought them
She doesn’t need to know it was me pic.twitter.com/qmdoCc9sDO
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) 5 december 2016
10. Wanneer je dreigementen niet zo veel indruk maken
IF YOU KIDS DON’T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) 21 mei 2016
11. Als je meteen al spijt hebt van je keuze
My kids wanted a karaoke machine for Christmas-little did I know it would be for yelling in the mic “CAN WE HAVE A SNACK” when I’m upstairs.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) 27 januari 2016
12. Wat doet die mevrouw daar in haar eentje?
[building a snowman with my kids]
Me: Ok, who wants to put the arms in?
Kids: *went inside 2 hours ago to play video games*— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) 2 februari 2015
13. Godzijdank
7yo: Daddy, have some pee juice!
*throws cup full of liquid at me
Me:
7yo:
Me:
7yo: It wasn’t really pee
Me: Thank you— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) 22 oktober 2016
14. Lastig…
Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) 16 augustus 2016
15. Een onoverkomelijk obstakel
Why I should accomplish all my goals today:
1) I’m motivated.
2) I’m ambitious.
3) I planned ahead.
Why I won’t:
1) Kids
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) 8 januari 2017
Lees ook: Altijd heerlijk: tweets van de allergrappigste twitter-ouders
